FatChick On Top!

There are a few things I did not consider before beginning to write these stories.  It didn’t ever occur to me that so many people would be reading them, first off.  There are people I do not even know that are reading these stories.  People that I do not even know that now know all these little details in my life.   And my weight.  And that I grow pubic hair at an exceedingly rapid rate. And that my giant fat girl underpants gave me a boil on my bum.

And then there is the fact that there is 100 people that I do know  that now  know these things about me as well. **shudder**

I also did not take into consideration the fact that people now look at me.  And I mean look at me.  I cannot tell you how many people have looked at my gut instead of my face while speaking to me  in the last 2 weeks. Now, I am used to men looking at my girls instead of my face when talking to me.  They are borderline giant girls, and I have often snapped my fingers in the face of men and said  “Hellooooo pervy..yes, my FACE is talking to you, not my boobs.  Hey  thanks”….  But how do I approach the gut staring? Women are looking me up, down, and back up again before continuing on with their conversation with me.  This makes me somewhat uncomfortable. Yes, I do have a gut.  Um, hi??  What part of FatChick do you not understand?? No, it did not disappear overnight…yes, it is smaller, but still ever present.  And it is shy, so please do not stare at it.  You are making it self conscious. Kay, thanks.

Thursday night, during the NFL Draft, the girls and I decided to do a cheerleader pyramid.  We do this often, like every few months or so, when we are feeling good, and there is a large group of us together.  I am always bottom row, center, due to my exceptional cheerleading history, my brute strength, and my giant size. I have never in my life been in the second, or even top row, of any pyramid or any other cheerleading infrastructure.  I was always the bottom.  Holding all the skinny chicks up.  Getting stepped on, climbed on, sat on,  with sneaker hickeys all over my shoulders, butts sitting on my head, holding all the skinny girls up in their happy pose,  for pictures or games. Tossing the skinny girls into the air, soaring, soaring, watching them twist and turn and do toe touches, mid air, before landing gracefully back into my arms. No one looks at the girls on the bottom.  Mainly because you can’t see them under all the  cute, smiling, skinny girls on top.

But not on Thursday….

On Thursday, as my friends and I set up for the pyramid, I assumed my bottom row center position.  And my friends all yelled ” FatChick on top!! FATCHICK ON TOP!”  Oooh boy, this could get ugly….

And on top I was….for the first time, in all my 35 years on this planet, I was on the top……

Sarah is in my usual spot, bottom center...you cannot see her through Mary Rose, but she is there

Even though I was on top, I was not light…..Poor Kim and Bridget…Sorry ladies, for busting your backs . I don’t call myself FatChick for nuthin…

And we allll......falllll......doooowwwwnnn!

Today’s playlist song was submitted by Kimmy “GIBBLER!” St. Pierre Racine, of North Adams, MA.  I have been singing it since last night. Thanks Kim,for the suggestion. A lil LL Cool J in da hizzay….oh, sorry…I am getting carried away again.

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