Tuesday’s Blues Day

Well, attempt number one to quit smoking was an epic failure.  I am a weak, sad, and controlled individual. My cousin gave me sound advice from Einstein yesterday, ” I did not fail, I just found 1000 ways that don’t work”. Let’s see how today goes, shall we?

I had the opportunity to look at some pictures of myself yesterday. These were taken on Sunday, just 2 days ago.  I am disappointed to report that there is absolutely NO change in myself since the last round of pictures one month ago. I am still the chubby girl in the middle of a bunch of skinny chicks. One month  later.  ** Insert enormous sigh**

Yes, it has been one month.  One long, stupid month. And I still have multiple chins. My pants fit better, my bra is too big, but I still don’t seem to look any better.  What a load of crap.

I have 428 fans on the FatChick facebook page, but only about 156 daily readers. What the hell is up with that?? Thank you, all 156 of you, for sticking with me.  I am ashamed to admit that I may not have the same dedication that you have. And to the other 272 Donkey Assclowns? Patuh…

There apparently will not be a recipe posted on Wednesday, as no one has shared a recipe with me.  So, there goes that idea, right out  the window, along with a portion of my confidence.

Off to run 2 miles on the golden road to no where in my den,  and then  spend another 45 minutes with Gilly Ann and T. On a side note, to all of you Big Bang Theory watchers, I am  quite pained to tell you that Wolowitz looked way  hotter in the Bat Girl costume than I did. How sad is that?? 

Today’s song is submitted by another blogger, who writes ” I was a show girl”, which is a blog similar to mine, regarding weight loss.  She is a big fan of pop music to work out to, and recommends Lady GaGa, which is another from my ipod tracks.  Here it is, ” Bad Romance”, a very catchy tune

email: vltarsa9@yahoo.com

MISSION LOG

Mission Goal: Release SkinnyChick from captivity

Mission Obstacles: The Easter Bunny

Calories Consumed: roughly 15,000 over the entire weekend, not counting the cookies I didn’t see FatChick eat

Mission Log:

FatChick had been doing incredibly well. She had kept her calorie input to a bare minimum, and was doing double sessions of calisthenics daily. And then Easter hit.

For much of the day, FatChick ate well.   I had ordered the chocolate bunnies to stand down, and FatChick held her fire. There was a celebration at Lieutenant General’s bunker, and FatChick ate what I feel is a normal, healthy amount of food. FatChick even skipped dessert. Impressive.

I am not sure where things started to go downhill. FatChick ate a miniature Reeses egg, and Private Bitchalot chased her down, demanding that she spit it out.  FatChick didn’t, and I believe she laughed in his face and said the words ” Make me”.  At approximately 15:00 hours, FatChick and her platoon convoyed to Enemy Camp.  This is where things went sour.

FatChick and company arrived just in time for dessert at Enemy Camp.  FatChick again skipped dessert, and I was proud. She conversed with friends and was having a good time on leave from base, and I admit I was as well. A visiting Sargeant at the camp told FatChick she looks like she had lost weight since their last visit.  I was ecstatic.  I have been a POW  now for 5 years, and I was getting my first glipse at a day in the sunshine. And then it happened….

It was gruesome. I can barely speak of it.  So many casualties.  The first line of attack came in the form of kielbasa, cheese and horseradish. FatChick took them  down with minimal effort.  A second round of shots was then fired by deviled eggs, pickles and more kielbasa.  These too, suffered numerous casualties. The final wave of the attack came in the form of chocolate chip cookies, cake and easter candy. The bunnies had joined forces with the desserts, and together they made quick work of FatChick.  She never even had a chance. There was enemy fire coming from all directions.  The last I saw her, she was on her knees waving a white flag.

I awoke yesterday at dawn, and I was again with FatChick. We were in horrible pain. Our stomach was a volatile mess.  We spent the entire day in the infirmary. I hope FatChick has learned her lesson. I most certainly have.  The Easter Bunny is far more powerful than I had imagined. He has taken over Ops here  at the base, and has men stationed all over camp. I have sent word through a secret courier that I am in desperate need of backup.  Mission Control is down, so I appear to be on my own. I am hopeful that Captain McSkinnabitchz receives my request in time  and sends suppport. Otherwise, the world may have seen the last of me.

Further report in the morning..